Hibiscus Treat
Could you please help proofread the paragraph translated from Chinese?
Please correct the errors and improve the sentence without changing the meaning. Thank you very much.
He had rare confidants. Because Tao always remembered him and treated him the same as before, sometimes they would correspond with each other. Taking advantage of reconstructing and expanding of the school, he was invited, more than once by Tao, to teach in the Hibiscus Town. After carefully observing the whole school, he found it very satisfactory.
Yes we can clearly see that this is translated from Chinese, or some Asian language. The ‘tell’ ? it is the sequence of expression.
Chinese and most Asian language do not have the facility of saying something and then use a phrase or clause to modify or complete change it later .. Using your example:
Because Tao always remembered him and treated him the same as before, sometimes they would correspond with each other.
In English, you can do it in reverse, and most people will probably do so:
He and Tao would correspond with each other, since Tao always remembered him and has treated him same as before.
This makes your paragraph a little ‘strange-sounding’ and rigid .. It will take a lot of years of experience to get over this difference in Asian vs. Western languages.
I found that rather than forming a lot of long sentences with clauses, it is a lot smoother and easier to build many short and straight sentences.
A Bearded Dragon Treat- Hibiscus Petals !
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